Lately, I’ve seen a few conversations popping up on social media about parenting styles—specifically attachment parenting versus detachment parenting. Naturally, I spiraled into a Google rabbit hole (as one does when avoiding laundry), trying to figure out where I land on this parenting spectrum. Spoiler alert: I’m somewhere between “Let me hold you forever” and “You’re fine, just walk it off.”

For those who aren’t knee-deep in parenting lingo, here’s a quick breakdown:

Attachment parenting is all about nurturing a strong emotional bond with your child. Think baby-wearing, co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, and a more responsive, child-led approach. It’s the “I will drop everything if you so much as whimper” philosophy. (Which, let’s be honest, is sweet… but also exhausting.)

On the other end of the seesaw is detachment parenting, where independence is the name of the game. This might look like teaching babies to fall asleep on their own, encouraging conflict resolution between siblings without jumping in, or letting kids navigate a few bumps on their own before stepping in. It’s not cold; it’s just… chill. Like, very chill. Almost suspiciously chill.

Now, where do I fall? Honestly, somewhere in the magical gray area I like to call “whatever works today.”

With my first child, I leaned heavily into the attachment camp. I held my first baby constantly, checked on her every five seconds, and treated every tiny fuss like a full-blown emergency. She sneezed? I was Googling symptoms. She sighed? I was ready with snacks, a blanket, and possibly a lullaby. Fast forward to baby number two, and the vibe shifted dramatically. Now it’s more like, “You’re good. Walk it off.” Same love, just with a bit more perspective—and way less panic.

That’s the thing—each child is different, and so is each parent… depending on the day, the hour, or whether or not we’ve had caffeine. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and honestly, most of us are just doing the best we can with the information, energy, and snack supply we have.

I truly believe that love is the foundation of any good parenting style. Whether you’re cuddling your toddler to sleep every night or cheering them on as they learn to self-soothe, if your heart is in it, you’re doing it right.

So, are you an attachment parent? A detachment parent? A “just trying to get through Tuesday without losing it” parent? I’d love to hear your stories—because if there’s one thing we parents need more of, it’s each other.